god definition all religions

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American Religious Identification Survey

Anthropomorphism

A tribute to God

Anger and forgiveness

Armageddon

Autographs by his truly

Bible belt leads US in Divorces

Big Bang Theory

Blood of Christ

Born Again

Cave at Lascaux

Concept of Heaven

Christian Death Metal

Criticism vs. Limitations

Celibacy

Do animals have a soul?

Dradle

Entheogens

End of the world

Evidence for evolution

Existence of God

Exodus

Forgiveness

Footwashing procedures

Free Will

God as babysitter

God is imaginary

God the Creator

Guidance of a Guru

Happiness

Holy relics

Human Evolution

Heaven

How to become immortal

Hinduism

Immortality

Incorruptible bodies

Inquisition

Human journey

Human decomposition (WARNING, IT HAPPENS)

Interactive live chat with God

Irrefutable proof of God

Jainism - a way of life

Jesus Christ

Jesus rolling around in olive oil soaked in marijuana

Kingdom of God

Knowing God

Made in Gods image

Martyrs

Meaning of Life

Mid-life crisis

Miracles

Native American Beliefs

Nostradamus

Now or never

One life to live

Other shit to worship

Past lives

Prayer

Prayer for non-believers

Presidential Prayer Team

Purchase a gravestone

Purpose of life

Rama

Reformation

Religious tattoos

Reincarnation

Religion and spirituality

Religious Scents

Saint Simeon the Stylite

Satsanga

Self Realization

Shamanism

Shape of the world to come

Sightings of god

Spiritual Enlightenment

Ten commandments T-shirts and hoodies

Test to see if you are a good person

Test your faith.

Truth

Toiletries of choice of our God

Tooth Fairy

Truce with my inner self

Wafers

Way to heaven

What is enlightenment?

What is the cause of Islamic terror?

Why god made this world

Witchcraft

World War 3

Xenophobia

Yoga and Meditation

FAVORITE LINKS

 

Worlds Religions
  • Aladura
    Asatru
    Bah'ai Faith
    Bön
    Buddhism
    Cao Dai
    Chinese Religion
    Chopra Center
    Christianity
    Christian Science
    Confucianism
    Eckankar
    Epicureanism
    Falun Gong
    Greco-Roman Religion
    Hare Krishna
    Hinduism
    Islam
    Jainism
    Jehovah's
    Witnesses
    Judaism
    Kemetic Reconstructionism
    Mayan Religion
    Mithraism
    Mormonism
    Neopaganism
    New Thought
    Pantheism
    Pastafarian
    Rastafari
    Scientology
    Shinto
    Sikhism
    Stoicism
    Taoism
    Unification Church
    Unitarian Universalism
    Wicca
    Zoroastrianism

 

 

Other God Defined type websites (try to beat ours bitch)

 

Other organizations way more important than religion

WTF - Religious nuts gone too fucking far

 

General Conceptions of God
ered conceptions come from different
*Abrahamic conceptions of God
*Biblical definition of God
*Islamic concept of God
*Kabbalistic definition of God
*Negative theology
*God as unity or trinity
*Binitarianism
*God in Sikhism
*Conceptions of God in Hinduism
*God in Buddhism
*Esotericism
*The All
*The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception;
*Metaphysics and Philosophy
*Aristotelian view of God
*The Ultimate
*Process theology and Open theism
*Posthuman God
*God as an extraterrestrial
*Phenomenological definition of God.

See Also

General overview

*Names of God
*Conceptions of God
*Existence of God
*Depictions of God in popular culture
*List of appearances of God in fiction
*Parodies of God and religion

General approaches

* Agnosticism
* Atheism
* Deism
* Dystheism
* Henotheism
* Monism
* Monotheism
* Natural theology
* Nontheism
* Pandeism
* Panendeism
* Panentheism
* Pantheism
* Polytheism
* Theism
* Theology
* Transtheism

Various issues

* Chaos
* Cosmos
* Cosmic egg
* God and gender
* God complex
* Moral character
* Planes of existence
* Spiritual evolution
* Spirituality
* Transcendence

Specific conceptions

* Alaha
* Allah
* Baal
* Demiurge
* Deus
* Deva (Buddhism)
* God in Buddhism
* God in Sikhism
* Great Architect of the Universe
* Holy Spirit
* Holy Trinity
* Jesus, the Christ
* Krishna
* Monad
* Oneness (concept)
* Pangu
* Shang Ti
* SUMMUM
* Supreme Being
* Tetragrammaton
* The Absolute
* The All
* Alpha and Omega
* The Lord
* The Creator

General practices

* Animism
* Esotericism
* Gnosis
* Hermeticism
* Metaphysics
* Mysticism
* New Age
* Philosophy
* Religion

 

 





"Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals." - Agnes Repplier




"Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals." - Agnes Repplier

definition of god

Definitions of god: page 2

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  1. Only resides at The Best Church of God.

  2. Skeptical Christian.

  3. Clearly not that impressed with the traditional rain dance (didn't you know you're supposed to pray in a barrel of water?)

  4. The Pope's infallibility (clearly in need of a makeover).

  5. God - Better than a hospital! He will heal your sick children (if you pray hard enough).

  6. Lives in the vast area of the brain we do not use. That's right Mr. Mental Styrofoam.

  7. An abortion specialist.

  8. As blasé as dada artwork from the early 1900's.

  9. Something that slithered out of the afterbirth of the universe.

  10. On the coattails of a dead man he rides.

  11. "The spineless pussy who turned into a yellow bellied coward and ran away when Satan gathered all his strength and his entire army of hell, and stormed Heavens gates, and now rules Heaven with an iron fist on the turn of the second millennium." - Anonymous

  12. Heavens bad ass black bouncer.

  13. "Chuck Norris's bitch." - Chris Morrow.

  14. An Asian chick with a cute shaped butt and ample breasts.

  15. A super chill fat bald dude statue that would prefer you take your shoes off indoors and meditate your cares away. yea! Go Buddha... The most chilled God ever.

  16. The idea which debunking makes me feel the most alive.

  17. A dinosaur without fossil evidence.

  18. Jealousy formed out of the envy for immortality. I mean come on, we're talking about a super duper omniscient, omnipotent thingy that can somehow let you hang out with your dead relatives.

  19. Someone who loves a good brown nosing, and will send you directly to the pits of hell if you do not perform well.

  20. A reason to flatten your child's head, and/or stick them on top of a mountain as sacrifice.

  21. The reason we need television so much, you are still lonely with just God around.

  22. An object of worship which increases in importance with direct proportion to sexual frustration.

  23. The Passion of the Christ.

  24. Grandmaster extraordinaire (in chess, that is).

  25. Active ingredient in yogurt.

  26. Hallucinations that you were visited by dead relatives.

  27. Makes a lot more sense when you happen to be on high doses of opiates.

  28. The shit that hospice gossips about.

  29. An additive in tobacco.

  30. Anyone with a pink mohawk.

  31. Someone I would gladly re-crucify.

  32. The original Patriot Act.

  33. No point in acknowledging her because hell can't be any worse than Friday rush hour, FUCK!

  34. Likes it when you display shows of ignorance by putting tacky little Jesus wallpapers on your cell phone or license plate..

  35. All knowing being that gets stronger, the stupider America gets.

  36. A sense of wellbeing accompanying a beheading.

  37. A crime of opportunity (kind-of like rape).

  38. A reason to smoke, to get bask in the glory sooner.

  39. The spray from white trash's shotgun.

  40. Reason the aristocrats joke ever came about (you know, the one where a family sodomise's their kids in front of an audience before pissing and shitting all over them, just to watch the daughter later blow a dog covered in their filth.)

  41. The one currently taking it in every hold at once from the devil.

  42. Children playing with guns.

  43. The automatic winner of all debates before they ever begin.

  44. Every other store front in the ghetto.

  45. Company that doesn't eat your food.

  46. The only creature that doesn't poop.

  47. The truly Grateful Dead.

  48. Sea kitten.

  49. TOP SECRET

  50. Neither a fan of parallel octaves nor parallel penises.

  51. Star of a shit horror movie called :The Blob:

  52. A good spirit that protects from evil spirits by, um...

  53. The only reason I have never sucked dick.

  54. If ya don't know, now ya know, nigga.

  55. Something I think about more than you.

  56. An annoying ass car alarm on some luxury death trap sounding off every time someone whips by on a crotch rocket.

  57. A tube worm of satisfaction.

  58. The mega athlete playing tether ball and soccer with the earth.

  59. The longest running off off off broadway broadway broadway show show show!

  60. Presides over most occasions calling for dress codes and extreme bodily restriction and/or modification.

  61. Designer of companion website http://god-defended.com

  62. A septic tank for wanks.

  63. A traditional tradition.

  64. A pathetic grab at power, like rape.

  65. Makes wedding ceremonies intolerable, and then causes DJ's to make receptions nearly as boring.

  66. Gives signs by way of a particular arrangement of cat droppings, crop circles, and astrological hoopla.

  67. A cro-magnon man who rarely advocated free speech.

  68. Prefers you say a prayer before ripping someone off.

  69. Created by a relative of ours from Africa.

  70. Fucks vicariously through us.

  71. An ever expanding body of literature.

  72. Created by Satan to annoy us.

  73. A really nice asshole.

  74. Lives in a land that not even the Hubble telescope can find.

  75. Acne you can just think away.

  76. God - I am really sorry to hear of your loss.

  77. God only talks through the priest I guess (the sign says turn off all phones and pagers before entering the church.)

  78. Sincerely yours.

  79. "Reveals his will through all religions." - Bahá'u'lláh

  80. "Someone who has renewed his eternal covenant and proved the means to establish a just and peaceful global society." - Bahá'u'lláh

  81. A very selective being who apparently has only really ever spoken directly to Abraham, Buddah, Krishna, Zoroaster, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad.

  82. "Incomprehensible, unconceivable, yet evident by his essence, although he is unknowable in his essence (which is above all comprehension)." - Bahá'u'lláh

  83. Personal friend of George W. Bush.

  84. "The whole of the supreme attributes of the degree of existence in reference to this plane are only imaginations. It is invisible and comprehensible and accessible; a pure essence which cannot be described for the divine essence surrounds all things." - Bahá'u'lláh

  85. "Divine reality - which is unknown with regard to its essence, and is known with regard to it's attributes. This mystery of divinity is sanctified and purified from the comprehension of the beings, for all that comes to the imagination is that which man understands, and the powers of the understanding of man did not embrace the reality of the divine essence. All that man is able to understand are attributes of the divinity, the radiance of which appears and is visible in the world and within men's souls. When we look at the world within men's souls we see wonderful signs of the divines perfections which are clear and apparent, for the reality of things proves the universal reality." - Bahá'u'lláh

  86. The first joke told by man.

  87. Best friend of the saddest people on this planet, you'd have to be nuts first and foremost.

  88. For when existing on Earth as a normal person isn't good enough, especially for those incapable of generating their own reason to live.

  89. The inside of a coffin as seen through a telescope.

  90. The landlord of tens of thousands of big shiny churches and cathedrals built in his name to function as a personal vanity, molded as a cultural attraction, and designed for the purpose of raking in cash and increasing power by putting up the mental blinders for the repression of creativity, free thought, and reasonable questioning.

  91. Greatest real estate investor ever.

  92. Pyramid scheme devised to poorly guide those towards an unattainable goal through hope and vast wastes of money on decor.

  93. A bad investment.

  94. A charity that flauntingly puts more funds into the construction of elaborately ornate, excessive churches, and business expenses for those who work in them, than it ever would consider for the poor, which it's supposed to tend to.

  95. Simultaneous ability to play follow the leader and hide and seek.

  96. Direct descendant of himself.

  97. A daily planner including reassuring quotes, two cycles of feasts, and holy days (most of which are presumably heterosexual men's birthdays, amen.)

  98. "Inestimable love" - book of common prayer

  99. He gives his servants "that peace which the world cannot give", yet also condemns in the "great judgment seat" on the page before. - book of common prayer

  100. One whose "burden is light", is "gentle and lowly", and "descended to hell" - book of common prayer.

  101. If god is everywhere should I feel bad for having just shat him out?

  102. "The true bread which giveth life to the world, and seest that we have no power of ourselves to help ourselves." - book of common prayer

  103. "caused all holy scriptures to be written so that we may inwardly digest them" - book of common prayer

  104. He basically wants us to all die on metaphoric crosses. You first, neighbor!

  105. "A mystical body in an everlasting kingdom." - book of common prayer

  106. "A perpetual memory of death and sacrifice" - book of common prayer

  107. God - The deadliest joke ever told, esp. for the undersigned if He/She surfs the web.

  108. Formaldehyde in gaseous form for my thoughts.

  109. My favorite flavor.

  110. A gargoyle spewing unwanted emotions.

  111. There for you to have your way with, only to realize later that he's actually going to have his way with you.

  112. A love with no beginning and no end, i.e. the 69 position

  113. All Bob Ross paintings in one room.

  114. The great mutator of all genes.

  115. Rules that give men a second advantage over women, other than stature.

  116. A make-believe pal that Still manages to love us more than Society does.

  117. The clit, especially when you have access to one.

  118. Catching an inside wall on the way out.

  119. Something to look up to... worldly role models are pathetic.

  120. Something to think bout, when ain't shit else goin' on.

  121. God - told me that if i can get enough people to not believe in his worship, he will send another cool prophet to get killed.

  122. Fucking ridiculous queer universe.

  123. God - A taste of time.

  124. A glass which is both half full, and completely empty.

  125. Dios - me encanta.

  126. Someone not involved in Illinois politics (we're too corrupt even for God, JK)

  127. God approves of this website.

  128. GO(D)ARMY.COM

  129. A last resort, similar to Ocean City New Jersey.

  130. Anyone enacting censorship (playing God).

  131. Immaculate Spam

  132. Quite satisfying, like any book.

  133. Increases Sales (god makes you rich).

  134. The Great Exodus to your final resting place.

  135. Plan "A"

  136. Methodical jargon.

  137. Billion year old carbon (JK, he wishes he was mortal like us).

  138. Like's it when you call him Big Fa' Tha'

  139. Created the prophet B.I.G. who gave us these ten crack commandments.

  140. A festival of oblivion.

  141. An elevator that never, ever stops going up.

  142. Drips blood out of virgin statues.

  143. Basically slit his own wrists, why can't I.

  144. Created purgatory for added kicks, as if enjoying our suffering on Earth was not good enough.

  145. Too damn busy in his lofty cubicle to get to your event.

  146. Commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves. In other words, manually stimulate your neighbor.

  147. Capitalism

  148. Public trash compactor.

  149. God is a waste of time!

  150. Absolute first winner of American idol.

  151. A figment on steroids.

  152. Chastity belt.

  153. A piggy back ride thru destiny.

  154. A falling leaf, landing in moisture so as to disintegrate quickly, making dirt for works to fertilize, and upon which a seedling eventually lands.

  155. "A conveniently powerful explanation for the mysteries of the unknown." - Chris Rawlings

  156. Supreme chemical reaction.

  157. A fair trade... Give up your soul in exchange for global warfare.

  158. "The peak of an LSD trip when you start to feel your sanity sneaking away with your soul. Grab it quickly and squeeze as you try to remember - this is what you paid for." - Alexander Ruggie

  159. A code you must believe in to be a moral and ethical person.

  160. Pride

  161. Yet another reason to be a dick loose on the roads.

  162. The blood of Christ which fills the penis and leaves the brain during acute male horniness.

  163. The engineer of the soundtrack of our lives.

  164. Almost a second job.

  165. An optional presence.

  166. A floating platform.

  167. A light humor venue.

  168. The accurate observation that life is a miracle wrongly attributed to something other than life itself.

  169. The great Chicken or the Egg question.

  170. God is almost as corrupt as money, yet nearly as powerful as his influence over the ignorant and gullible.

  171. Brings back the question of whether money is power, or power is money. (Can't have one without the other, right!?!)

  172. Actually, it's just corruption!

  173. The best friend of most self righteous ignorant rich assholes that never believed in themselves from the start.

  174. A symbol of the weak that stands out more obviously than the bar codes of the prisoners of Nazi Germany.

  175. Something we would need, had we not each other.

  176. New car scent outlook on life.

  177. Friendly fire.

  178. Vintage whine.

  179. Spiritually squared and then fucking cubed.

  180. Doesn't seem to care that pot is milder than alcohol, let alone politics in general.

  181. Likes to be reminded why George W. Bush got re-elected.

  182. The free will debate.

  183. Epitome of passive aggressive.

  184. Something to dance carefully around.

  185. An optical illusion.

  186. GOD (GRAND OLD DEMOCRAT)

  187. Slime ball magnet

  188. God - Prozac for the misdiagnosted.

  189. Something I will speak out against until one of his minions offs me brutally.

  190. God - Creator of Martyrs.

  191. Divinity (an unobtainable goal)

  192. Titty milk, mommy.

  193. Angry naked mole rat.

  194. He's in your Fuckin brain man!

  195. Endorsed thousands of wars.

  196. I would like to define him as barnacle, please.

  197. Venus in a thong.

  198. Aphro-fuckin-dity

  199. Inventor of the mouth-to-anus digestive system.

  200. Hoof and Mouth Disease

  201. &(*&#()(*&^*^(&^%*(&^

  202. A super-chill vibe of togetherness which some get, and others think is b.s.

  203. An endangered species that lives forever.

  204. A diseased faggot that lives in the memories of fucking stupid assholes.

  205. A crawling biscotti illuminati.

  206. The Flying Spaghetti Monster! (ghasp)

  207. A walking pasta android (embrace his noodly appendage)

  208. Sunlight on a speckl'd hen egg in the mornin' mist

  209. The speckled egg/hen embraced with sunlight in the morning mist.

  210. A clone of Jezzus Or Muhommeth.

  211. Abdows giant baked apple pancake.

  212. Pimp of Life Energy

  213. Easily repaired with pink duct tape

  214. Hustler dressed up as a thousand cock suckin' priests.

  215. floccinaucinihilipilification.

  216. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!!?

  217. A head with wings. -Morphine

  218. Peaceful violence

  219. An Assembly Line for Personalities.

  220. Tax Exempt.

  221. (Fuck you) Makes an old chuch fucking ladies twat fuckin tingle, if nothing else.

  222. A Tutu to dress up in and strut around in, and no one best say anything about it. That's what guns are for.

  223. A reason to shoot someone in the face.

  224. None of the above, nor the "above".

  225. A mom singing to her sweet baby.

  226. Ubiquitous sludge, i.e. the embodiment of every shred of rotting excrement that ever came out of any living plant, animal, or toxic chasm, somehow accessible by tapping into one concept preserved in its own essence since the progression of linear time, trapped in every dimension past and present, and ever known since the beginning of man.

  227. mental fossil fuel

  228. once upon a time...

  229. God is on vacation in planet Zenon, galaxy Humboldt, cluster 47, and won't be back until 40,016 AD, when particular planets allign.

  230. No, you may not, but thanks for asking.

  231. Randomly linked to everything, like a powerful website.

  232. A place to hide from humor.

  233. Accidentally found in drinking water and genetically mutated foods across economic boundaries.

  234. An extra helping of stupid.

  235. Thy lying confetti sponsor.

  236. Clearly plays a huge role in the Academy awards, the Grammys, and in Sports.

  237. Go Fuck Yourself. It feels good.

  238. Woops, there is another rhyme for god. facade.

  239. Someone the atheist care-giver will never meet.

  240. A state of mind.

  241. Very very annoyed, with atheists, and they're stubborn, cling to, worldy events?

  242. Trust, equality, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, sex, creativity. In humans.

  243. Not some spirit, but in those qualities of people.

  244. A sad state without affairs.

  245. Acts suspiciously as fertilizer.

  246. Out my ass and into dirt.

  247. Kills everything except one crop, which blossoms triumphantly.

  248. Used to cause plant growth to flourish, then created us to come in and fuck it all up.

  249. Title of a song by Tori Amos. (check the lyrics when ya have a sec.)

  250. The ideal behind Lennon's "Imagine".

  251. Currently. Oh yes lord. Addressing a lightning bolt. Oh yes. Lord. To my fucking fucking Scrotum. Fuck yes.

  252. Creator of ALL PERVERSE IDEAS.

  253. It does not matter what god is.

  254. Google. (Fuck you google)

  255. The Great Gig in the Sky.

  256. A service, rather than a good. He he

  257. Word play.

  258. A free spirit.

  259. Would your business survive your death?

  260. Debt for using your genitalia.

  261. Structured intolerance.

  262. The man in charge of making us number one on Google searches.

  263. One of several deities, esp. a male deity, presiding over some portion of worldly affairs.

  264. We have had this web site less than a month.

  265. A battered wife. - "Alan Hicks"

  266. Punching bag.

  267. Nobody asks 934 questions without recourse.

  268. Implodometer.

  269. "DoG DeifieD GoD or GoD DeifieD DoG." - DoGoD

  270. "Imaginary expression of the evolutionary process of human brains which attempts to not take responsibility for its evolution." - Nazufani

  271. Creator of serial murderers and savvy businessmen.

  272. One of three pseudo gods fighting for control of Israel to win the real crown title: God.

  273. Spontaneous combustion.

  274. A sugar pill in candle light.

  275. god - google "crack-cocaine effects" for a pretty good definition of what god does to me.

  276. An east African potato farmer named Rodrigo Applesauce.

  277. More difficult to define than the average abdomen.

  278. King of insecurity.

  279. Never cared much for the rain forests or poles of the earth much either.... too interesting.

  280. Similar effect to a pencil protector, does nothing much more than make one look ridiculous.

  281. Something that saves the queen, presumably for later use. (lord save the queen)

  282. Vagina

  283. Oh no, a gay bishop! Split the church!

  284. "Fuck your god, your lord, your Christ" - Maynard James Keenan

  285. A micro-organism in the medulla oblongata.

  286. A place to go sit.

  287. Absence of thought.

  288. Time flies when you're having fun... extend your life by church-going.

  289. Made Neanderthals in his image but waited a few thousand years to invent us so we could they could write miracle stories about him. Can't have those ugly things around when you're talking about God's image!

  290. The eternal pecking order.

  291. An underwater safety net.

  292. The truth hurts.

  293. Someone's conscience; not always your own, unfortunately.

  294. Thinking one's group is better than other similar groups.

  295. Recently discovered to be Marcus, Jesus' half black younger brother, who made water into watermelon.

  296. God - An idea that makes the entire human race look dumber than a bag of bricks, not only when you attempt to prove it's existence, but especially when you claim you've done so!

  297. Number one! (a.k.a. LUCA, the cenancestor)

  298. His semen is the salty ocean, praise Jesus.

  299. "God is the biggest dead beat dad in the world. Lots of kids have a FATHER just like GOD, fucking no show." Dick Pittman

  300. God - Fragile, handle with care. This end up.

  301. Living gel.

  302. "Drawn from mythological research:
    Coyote is the god who walks this planet and lives among her people. She is our mother and created us from her own body. Mythology suggests that Coyote in turn was created by Old Creator from the material of this planet. Old creator was furious at Coyote for ‘stealing’ the knowledge of creation, and attempted to destroy humankind. Coyote saved a few of us and drove Old Creator off.

    Coyote rebuilt this planet for us after the massive flooding, earthquakes and destruction of the melting of the last Ice Age (Old Creator’s attack), but is condemned to remain here with us. She has been influencing our development and has gained a reputation as a trickster because her ways are not ours: she has her own agenda.

    Old Creator will come back to reclaim his property and we may be encouraged by Coyote to fight, or, if you follow the Raelian religion: A change of government has occurred with Old Creator and we have until 2030 to prove that we are worthy of membership in the celestial hierarchy.

    The story of Coyote is strikingly similar throughout diverse cultures around the world and is known by many names. As Coyote is as American as Mom and Apple Pie, I have chosen that name." - Mary Coyote

  303. The great hangover.

  304. The life treadmill.

  305. Reason not to spread a hot Christians legs.

  306. Reason to hate fuck Sarah Palin.

  307. Circular questioning (break the cycle).

  308. Living hell.

  309. Probably the reason McCain lost the election. Did you see that wacky bible banger Sarah Palin talking in tongues?

  310. Dark matter (just like the minds of earthlings, he occupies 90% of the universe.)

  311. A lighthouse in an endless ocean.

  312. Light (non-matter).

  313. Must have been birthed out of some really great pussy.

  314. Biggest gay porn collector ever, just go to church and you'll know what I mean, dummy.

  315. Created the finest oak cabinetry during a highly lucrative 15 year career... Splendid wood carver and metalurgist.

  316. A mind set on salvation.

  317. Leads by example... he had long hair and refused to shave or wear a tie.

  318. Thanks for the cool Y2K hats and t-shirts!

  319. Grateful provider of armageddon.

  320. Carpentry skills so great, his son was created to inspire many other generations of excellent wood working, as can be witnessed by the Amish, whose outfits he enjoys as well.

  321. The best carpenter ever. Built many wooden things before his second career as a guy that died in his thirties.

  322. Once fixed a man by hitting him in the face with his holy carpenter hammer.

  323. Turned tomato juice into a bloody marry.

  324. Believes if a poor person receives health care the rich are justified whining about it.

  325. Happy Doom.

  326. The least passionate irrationalist of our times.

  327. The all knowing sage who can apparently penetrate and manipulate the numerical order of the universe for a paroxysmic finale at a whim, calling catostrophic end to life as we know it (fucking showoff).

  328. A blessed age.

  329. Offers you the millennium as a reward for clinging to your fear.

  330. God is fodder for the millennialist/chialist (death seeking sapling.)

  331. A forecast for death.

  332. "It all makes sense. A mathematically inclined God, mindful of the allure of cycles and numerical repetitions for the lovable and fallible creatures that he had crafted in his own image, would surely have incarnated his only begotten son at a crucial turning in the cosmic cycle of thousands." - Steven Jay Gould

  333. "There shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, and saying Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation. The heavens and the earth which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day" (2 Peter 3:8)

  334. Clearly someone who had a lot of fun fucking with all the idiots that struggled to claim the world's end based on millennial calculations. - (Anabaptist Thomas Muntzer, William Miller, Jacob Hutter, Charles Taze Russell, James Watt, John Chilembwe, Wovoka, Sextus Julius Africanus, Raoul Glaber, Bede, Archbishop James Usher, Samuel Sewall, Dionysius Exiguus, )

  335. FAIL

  336. Hardcore jollies derived from watching boys receive communion and even cheaper thrills from those who go out of their way to receive it in the face.

  337. Judge of the superficial.

  338. An underwater safety net, just prevents you from swimming.

  339. Leader of at least 4 billion materialistic assholes.

  340. Tool used by the 2 percent of Americans to keep on top of the earnings of half of the gross domestic profit of the entire country.

  341. Fitted to wear the asteroid belt.

  342. A feeling of superiority in the mentally constipated.

  343. One hole you can't jam your dick in.

  344. "I personally believe in evolution, and completely disregard the word theory in Big Bang. Technically our “sub-god” is most certainly the sun. It has been so since the origins of mankind. (no need to explain its amazing contribution to our lives) We need to understand the universe before we understand who created it. God is the creator of the universe and all its dimensions. All religions have astronomical & astrological symbolism therefore the answers our out there." - Chug Bears

  345. The fear used to enforce every powerful hierarchy ever created.

  346. What you experience when you are asleep, minus all that mental activity.

  347. If there truly is a god, I'm sure he's thrilled about the impending enviropocalypse considering how greatly we've abused his name for power and greed.

  348. God - the mother of prevention.

  349. God is the start of every dead end road.

  350. God is the being in charge of what will be later known as the Age of Stupid.

  351. America's Unsolved Mystery

  352. Batteries not included, designed for children ages 13 and up.

  353. God - Keeper of the age of conservative dreams (Grand theft Jesus).

  354. Says the more serious you are in life, the more fun you will have in the tomb.

  355. Writers block, ha just kidding.

  356. The fear of the unknown worn as a piece of flair.

  357. Lord of the cock rings.

  358. Checked no on the peaceful world box.

  359. The birth of inequality.

  360. More effective to make fun of than any other person or concept that may or may also not exist.

  361. Feigned labotomy.

  362. Individually colours each autumn leaf before they take their delicate plunge, just as he hand bends each penis into its own particular curve.

  363. Cosmic joke that gives fools and false idols a reason for people to believe life is better than it appears to be, even though we are surrounded by suffering on every level.

  364. A zombie, the undead, the freshly unearthed, the walking fleshheap of man (neither shall this website pass away).

  365. An old grumpy fart.

  366. "God is the result of our ancestors evolving to a point where their minds demanded an explanation for the beauty and the terror around them, but they had not developed the ability to deliver on this demand. God (and religion by extension) was our first and worst attempt at philosophy and science." - Morgan Wingfield

  367. Supernatural snail

  368. A bridge to, uhh nowhere...

  369. Rhetorical rhetoric.

  370. Trying as hard as one can to be cool, not cruel. Trite but true.

  371. "A patient artist with a helluva good espresso machine." - Nik D'Souza

  372. Something less tolerable than racism.

  373. "Gods explain the otherwise unexplained or misunderstood. Gods are typically personified force or intelligence invented by cultures to explain the workings and origins of the world, forces in human nature, and mortality. Gods are abstract and metaphysical, but their domain shrinks with the advancement of scientific knowledge, the limits of which will always allow for some creative interpretation of the purpose or ultimate first cause of existence as a whole. Despite this limitation, such beliefs carry with them real physical consequences in the behavior of those who hold them. These beliefs are usually nonetheless attractive and difficult to abandon. Shenanigans." - Andrew Torr

  374. Always there to take one in the face, that's right. Fuck god in the face.

  375. Mental disease.

  376. Emotional hickup.

  377. "A WAY OF SHOWING THE MASSES THAT I AM MAGIC. FIRST GOVERMENT!" - THE BEAST

  378. Something miraculously more divisive than every border that exists. This includes every ocean, canyon, and wall from the Great wall of China to the one in your back yard, even including those that exist in your mind.

  379. The head of Christ.

  380. Tom Foolery.

  381. "Oh, dear.
    First: Monotheism. Evolved out of Monolatry, i.e. the decision to only regard, adore etc. one god, although there are others (gods of egypt). Drove on to there only exists one god, with strong ommnipotence as the centre (all that happens is caused by god).
    Second: The teachings of Jesus fusing morals in expectation of the coming kingdom with God via the idea of perfection (be perfect as the heavenly father).
    Third: Crucified Jesus redeeming as the archetype of our failing to attain perfection in this world. All this collapsed back into one god, since it is logically coherent." - Eric Djebe

  382. A sky polluted with imagery.

  383. Indirect relationship to any concept of utility (our searches for order more often lead to terminal nuttiness than profound insight.)

  384. The unfortunate consequence of natural selection.

  385. Hidden basis for both the solution of natural order and the salvation of the human soul.

  386. The great disappointment. See definition #200 if confused.

  387. A thicket of ordinary guys out to make a buck.

  388. "God."

    "I cannot intereprt for you what God is, by leaving it as God is i have shown that defining god is not possilbe, just like imagining heaven will not give you a better idea of what heaven is like, i have said before in other posts and i will say it again: You cannot reason God into existence. Faith is the only way." - Jesse

  389. God - Sure there are churches, but he's certainly not a public service.

  390. Creator of the big bang.

  391. The little fucking voice in my ear that keeps saying, “you better not write this book.”

  392. God is an astringent to clense oneself of reason.

  393. He wrote this book here and the book says:
    "He made us all to be just like Him," so . . .
    If we're dumb . . . Then God is dumb . . .
    (And maybe even a little ugly on the side)
    DUMB ALL OVER, A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE - Frank Zappa

  394. The first male to be attracted to his own image.

  395. A pungent smell occupying my room. (nvm,. that's my wretched foot stench, guess I'll pray to that then.)

  396. God - A robed boner.

  397. "There is no ‘God.’ Christians have humanized God too much and any such being cannot be divine. I believe in evolution and the reason life has formed on this planet is because Earth is the only planet that we know of that has an atmosphere that can sustain life. Not the other way around (the Earth was created for humans). I don’t believe in and afterlife either. At one time I would have been considered a heretic, thank ‘God’ for the first amendment of the constitution! Jk." - Derek Vander Linden

  398. "I don't know who God is, but in Heaven you get 8 peniss and can fuck lots, and beer to." - Anonymous

  399. "God is a fictitious human construct" - Dtho

  400. Lilith in disguise (he was actually just pretending to be a sexist).

  401. Antonym of science.

  402. "As God is a man made construct, then a worthwhile definition is along the lines of, ‘A concept developed by primitive man to help make sense of his environment’.
    Now we can expand a little as to why intelligent people in this day and age still subscribe to this nonsense… apart from reasons of culture and tradition…so I think, ‘God’ is that part of man that can embrace the abstract, that can codify ‘love’ or ‘eternity’ or ‘beauty’.

    Does God as a thing exist? no… but as an abstract concept.. he’s right up there with the orbiting teapot." - Musycks

  403. Michael Powell's bitch (Mike knows if the FCC doesn't comply to God's blacklist he'll have to take a barbed tipped buttplug to the hiney.)

  404. Reason parental settings exist on TV.

  405. Book work with an insatiable appetite for all books of reason.

  406. Ultimately created for ignorant dickheads who need something to shove in your face and piss you off about for arguement sake.

  407. A god defined is a god confined.

  408. "The Pope will sack your body, and the church, all they want is your money." - JDA Hawai

  409. Imagine a being who exists on a single point, and cannot sense anything in any direction except for that single point. From his point of view, there is no forward or backward, no up or down, no side to side. His whole world is limited to that single point. Now, imagine a being who can see only along a straight line in front and behind him. For such a being, there is no up or down, nor side to side. They do not exist for him--they are simply outside of his very conceptual apparatus. Now, imagine a being who exists in a plane--he can see all around him--but still not above or below him-- he exists only in two dimensions. He simply cannot even conceive of anything outside of the plane he exists in. If someone told him there is such a world outside of his two dimensional perspective, he might think they were crazy. He would simply have no access to such a world. Yet we human beings, who exist in 3 dimensions can see the limitations of his existence. Now, imagine a being who exists in one hundred dimensions, or even infinite dimensions. Just as the above beings cannot begin to understand something outside of their conceptual scheme, so perhaps we cannot even begin to understand such a being. - JP Rosensweig

  410. Guns n Roses in the late 80's.

  411. A figure of speech.

  412. The molten core of the earth.

  413. Leper messiah, harvester of sorrows, one, the day tha tnever comes, the unforgiven, etc. - Metallica.

  414. Once, a burning bush. More often, a burning church.

  415. classified information

  416. Youth grope leader.

  417. "We do a diservice to ourselves to attempt to define that which is beyond our human ability. Definitions of such have led to conflict and separation. Pride supports such attempts, while humbleness simply accepts are human limitation." - Douglas Whitmore

  418. Patience... The second coming always takes a bit longer.

  419. Actually Jesus told everyone he knew that his second coming would happen during their lifetime. So for all you dumb dumbs who are still waiting, you can give up now.

  420. A lubricated pole to heaven.

  421. "“God” is a few pulses of idea, traveling through the mind of the human who has been inpacted by the transferrence of that “God” idea from another human. Mystical feelings can be called the “numinous”. God or Gods outside the human mind are simply not real. Godsy exist only in the intracranial neurological cosmos of the billions of neurons which compose the average human nervous system. system… Nuerons invent gods,n and teach other neurons to do likewise! Some neurons just say NO!" - Ian Martin

  422. Recently abbreviated as a 50 page intro to the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin.

  423. The origin of feces.

  424. Yea, hope can come from real things, ya know...

  425. One in one. (according to the first testament.)

  426. Both the father and the son, how cute and sweet is that! (according to the second testament.)

  427. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (according to the Modalism.)

  428. An ancient bearded hippy that turned water into wine, got killed for saying he is god, and is somehow helpful today, although unclear how.

  429. "God is Life, he is the essence of Life, or, if we prefer, the essence of Life is God. Saying this we already know what is God, we know it not by the effect of a learning or of some knowledge, we don't know it by the thought, on the background of the truth of the world ; we know it and we can know it only in and by the Life itself. We can know it only in God." - Michel Henry

  430. "God the creator of all reality. the Alpha and the Omega at the begining of time and at the end of time at the same time." - Timothy McGuire

  431. A dude w/ hideous musical taste.

  432. Only subject of the bible and heavy metal bands.

  433. "God is a consuming fire" (Hebrews 12:29 New Testament).

  434. Coupon for religious faith, redeemable only in this lifetime for cash value of 1/100 cent. Coupons are void if restricted, illogical, or prohibited by law. The consumer must pay any applicable sales tax in the form of a percentage of the soul. There is a limit to one coupon per person towards the religion of choice, any converters/dissenters will be automatically sent to hell after death. Coupons may be redeemable by authorized retailers located in U.S Military bases, yet shipping expenses will be applied. The lord reserves the right to deny reimbursement, retain and declare void any coupons presented for redemption that are in mint or mass cut condition, reproduced, photo-copied, trimmed or altered in any way by retailer/individual in violation of the terms herein, or are otherwise improperly redeemed. Failure to observe these terms and conditions for proper redemption may lead to a life of misery, and eternal hell after death. To redeem coupons for BLIND FAITH U.S.A., Inc. send properly redeemed coupons to: BLIND FAITH U.S.A., Inc. PO Box 1059 Inferno Pass, Satansville,XXX 84104

  435. The wind in my armpits.

  436. Jesus is actually a lizard, you stupid dumb dumb (click here for proof).

  437. Must never be taken as fact. Seriously!

  438. Dare to contest me and you will pay!

  439. Thing that keeps you from coveting your neighbor’s wife, right?

  440. "God is probably a human invention intended to meet human desires. For sure, this human God is speculative; the human mind could not fully understand a god worthy of the name. Unfortunately, preoccupation with God leads to distracting arguments and divisions, since this kind of speculation is not subject to proof. We’d be better off focusing on personal non-physical spirituality, which is not speculative but demonstrated every time we exercise free will (which, by definition, must be outside the control of physical law)." - Rogers Adams

  441. A sucky absent friend that really really wants an apology for you enjoying your life.

  442. A fantasy world that I am fucking sick of hearing about.

  443. Physics on acid.

  444. The Universe.

  445. "Rabbi Hillel, lived 100 years before Jesus and he understood the Hebrew: Hokema; Holy Wisdom; The Feminine Divinity was the same as the Greek understanding of The Logos: The Word/AKA Jesus.

    So before Jesus walked the earth a man, he was already a she; Holy Wisdom and "SHE is mobile beyond all motion, SHE penetrates and pervades all things by reason, SHE is the aura of the might of God and SHE who is one, can do all things and renews everything, and passing into holy souls from age to age, SHE produces friends of God and prophets.- WISDOM 7:22-8:1" - Eileen Flemming

  446. All hail the glowing box of consumerism!

  447. God Defined is the definition of god, forever God Defined!

  448. Creator of seven eleven (thank heaven for seven eleven) and shell.

  449. Leader of the meek (who shall inherit the Earth). Perhaps he meant the freaks will inherrit the earth?!?!

  450. "God created the Universe. God created us to play in this Universe. God is everything. God has everything. God needs NOTHING. Therefore, he does not need anything from us. He also does not need us to be ‘good’ for any particular reason. He/she just allows it’s creations to play and have a free will with their souls. Therefore, God is ‘non-committal’. God exists, but doesn’t care or interfere." - Richard Buck

  451. That smell when you forget to take your garbage out.

  452. A disorder pre-disposed to much of the republican party.

  453. Enemy of gothic-ness.

  454. As safe an option as a wrecking ball to the groin.

  455. "I think that god is a figment of our imagination. A product of our desperation to explain the unexplainable, and to comfort us in hard times and death. We try to pretend that worship is a selfless act, but it is as selfish as any act that we participate in. A lot can be said for the peace of mind that comes with beliving in a higher power. The blind faith is what scares me though. Those who blindly follow will be exploited. It allows the exploited to be exploited believing that there is an afterlife where they will have anything they want.

    Anyone who tells you there is an after life is trying to sell you something. They want your money. They want the power that your support gives them. Faith also enables us to see suffering and do nothing about it. We can tell ourself that they must have done something wrong and god is punishing them. It allows us to let these people suffer and believe that there are better times ahead of them in the afterlife. There is no afterlife and we have to make the best of our time on earth. Our greatest social responsibility is to be happy. The way that we feel effects all the people that we come in contact with. People need to focus less on heaven after life, and more of heaven on earth." - Tony Purdom

  456. A renewable (make-pretend) resource.

  457. Make a wish!!!

  458. The reason virgins are so damn sexy.

  459. A reason to feel fine when you could just feel fine without it.

  460. The fag’s executioner.

  461. Prophesized to reveal himself as a purple toad on the doorstep of the whitehouse after the time of the first half black president.

  462. The answer to every question a conservative mind asks.

  463. "There was no first mover that made us. Indeed, we are making our Gods every day. Notice how our gods change to suit our needs… the israelites needed justification for their attacks on other tribes and so invented a god who was bloodtirsty and encouraged them to conquer the clueless heathens that stood in their way. Today, most people prefer a benevolent creator or a hazy concept that leaves some room for the scientific discoveries that can’t be ignored. Still, the combined mental energies of believers create the deity. In this sense, God is a shared psychosis." - Susan Shipp

  464. One with all or no governing power over greed, it's hard to tell. Yeah, he's probably just lousy indecisive hippy.

  465. A character in a best-selling novelty.

  466. A five billion year old one celled lucky assed organism.

  467. Un-intelligible fiction writer.

  468. "God was created in man’s image by those who sought to manipulate and control the masses—those who were viewed as lesser beings than themselves. And it has worked quite well for several thousand years. God is also an excuse to abdicate one’s responsibilities of self-direction, self-reliance, and self-sufficiency (e.g., God will take care of it) and to justify one's inhumane treatment of others' particularly when one's idea of God is questioned or doesn't gel with their own (e.g., God spoke to me and said his words were blasphemy and so he should die).

    My question is when do the masses wake up and understand this and start living life like we claim all good, responsible, compassionate, and caring people should?" - Craig Thayer

  469. An evil demon trying to get closed minded whites to hate people that come from the same region as its books origin.

  470. "Mental manipulation in disguise of righteousness." - Anonymous

  471. Pure waste of energy.. pure energy and a waste of it.

  472. Antonym of progress

  473. "Jealousy - (something that is only capable of the emotion of jealousy. you can see it everywhere. he is always jealous that you love his creations more than him.)" - K Yeo

  474. "Dominum reget, quod vives, loquis et scribis! stultus non potest scire Dominum projectis. agere debes recte." or "Lord, he will rule , and give new life. he speaks and writes! foolish are those not able to know Master." (something like that)- Ivan Petryshyn

  475. "111100010101010111111110001111101010001" - Anonymous

  476. Disgustingly ornate building housing weekly fashion shows.

  477. Annoying pest that wont fuck off.

  478. An energy which manages to influence everything without doing a damn thing.

  479. Lifeboat with holes in it.Image in the mirror that may make one seem bigger than they are.

  480. "God is the unattainable. God is the extreme. God is that by which we define ourselves. God is that which man aspires to be, but has yet to become. God is knowledge we have yet to attain. God is subjective. God is a human concept. God is the artificial boundary man creates in an infinite reality. God is man’s attempt to reconcile his desire for truth and unity in a reality in which he finds neither. God is an admission of defeat in man’s absurd struggle with himself and his reality" - Josh Friedman

  481. Ruler of some of the most hostile, power hungry, and controlling humans that exist.

  482. One who leads those eager to conquer their fellow man whether in principle, in argument, physically, or by another show of superiority, for nothing more than some words written on a stinky old book.

  483. Status symbol.

  484. Never guilty yet always deserving of credit and praise.

  485. "God is a Convenient word for humans to label that which is responsible for everything. God is a Synonym to Nature." - Scott Thompson

  486. A stain that's hard to wash off completely.

  487. "Everything is energy. God is the personification of that energy." - BillyDKY

  488. A guilty conscience.

  489. "
    I believe that it as an impossible task for me to define god.
    I don’t know what god is. I don’t believe I can know. I don’t need to know. I don’t believe anyone can know. No one has ever been able to show proof for or against god. I really don’t worry about it much.
    I’m too busy trying to live a good and productive life to spend my
    time on meaningless speculation that really has no impact on my life." - John Dundas

  490. "To me god is everything, Which in paradox also means that he is nothing." - Craig a.k.a. The second coming.

  491. No show hero. - Craig Vasil

  492. This, that, and the other.

  493. It.

  494. Craigslist.

  495. "The God that everyone here is speaking of is the infinite. Once the infinite (God) became self aware that it was infinite it wanted to see what things would be like if things were finite.

    Now for the other God. Which is the finite, us – humans. You are my other-self Healingzero, you are an other finite version of the infinite. Do you understand?" - Jeff Delano

  496. "God is a hypostatized illusion derived from the superego." - Greg Felton

  497. Lips of Nigeria.

  498. "Yes. I know for a fact that god isn't real. I think people are so ignorant and close-minded to believe that he is real. Just abandon sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, body, & mind; then what's left? Get rid of that too, and then you will feel it. You are GOD! This is all a dream my friends." - x3

  499. God is the book entitled "The Holy Bible". - Anonymous

  500. Clan member #1

  501. Bin Laden's close companion and confidant.

  502. Been supporting terrorism since the dawn of man. That's right you dummy Christians, he's been chief manipulator for thousands of years before Constantine.

  503. Sat and watched with arms folded like a bitch as Nero built in the Roman colisseum to torture filthy Christians for entertainment value over the next 300 years.

  504. All powerful being who can only communicate through books.

  505. A graveyard for the living.

  506. Also confused about what to worship.

  507. The wall you talk to when things suck.

  508. A sorcerer without so much as a card trick.

  509. "Nature, universe, the tangible and not, the technology that brings a plant from a seed, a child from an egg. Inconceivable in our language. Everything and nothing. Not confined (to a white-guy with a beard sitting on a cloud kicking people into eternal hell). Not what evengelists talk about." - boiseculturejam

  510. "'Deus sive Natura' - All is One (Nature, God)" - Baruch Spinoza

  511. Every dictators key to mind control since Constantine set up the First Council of Nicaea in AD 325 to ensure complete control over a faith torn Rome.

  512. Parts seas, and kicks major ass with tsunami's, hurricanes, and cyclones. Major ass.

  513. Unlimited joy complete with complimentary restrictions.

  514. The magic in my daily struggle, which is internally created.

  515. A belief that a person is not equal to the rest of creation... That any individual somehowh stands out, whether inferior or superior, i.e. inequality.

  516. The laughter in my hard-on.

  517. Young blondes on streetbikes.

  518. Whatever drives me pleasantly crazy about the smile on the face of a hot Nordic blonde or any other hottie from the Netherlandish region.

  519. A vent for hatred, which before this website was directed at people.

  520. Metaphor.

  521. "“God” is not a being. Rather, god is a manifestation of belief. Even if something does not actually exist, it can still have a profound impact on behavior. For example, if a child is scared of the boogie man and therefore won’t open his closet door, god still exists to that child and impacts his behavior. It doesn't matter if god is real or not, as long as gods existence continues to inspire, comfort and help. While evil acts are also committed in the name of a god, it is vastly outweighed by the good that is done." - Dane Skillrud

  522. Yeah, he's cool. Now give me my fucking money.

  523. Proud parent of an honor role prudent.

  524. A loving royalty.

  525. A living royalty. (The church will continue making royalties off him forever!)

  526. Watching a hummer drive off a cliff.

  527. Grip the concept tightly... choke your love.

  528. God - teaches us to be ashamed of others and feel insubordinate ourselves, yet hungry for control.

  529. God - so stupid he probably worships his own dumb ass.

  530. God - A self loather for the self loathing.

  531. "My definition of God is that I’m still working on it. Words suck at descriptions in this case. I find myself cringing just placing gender on God. I don't even know if I'm happy referring to him as a being. I feel the need to understand dimensions of reality to get there as well. I know God exists but I don't know how or why. Faith is my current working definition of God. I'll let you know when I understand existence the rest of my thoughts on God. : )

    I could say how I don't define God, that will at least help in getting to a definition.

    Why would I bother to take part in the discussion? Because basically my definition of God is that he is currently indefinable. But I couldn't just have put that, it's a copout." - Pokoj

  532. God - fatter than yo mamma.

  533. God makes some people left handed, because he wants to.

  534. God - Either a friend or a master, can't be both. Seriously!

  535. A vain wind vane held all in vain without the help of veins.

  536. A trite, and stereotyped notion that someone actually cares about you.

  537. Just another dead beat dad avoiding child support.

  538. "God is the final answer when we reduce the equation of our existence to its most basic parts. People ask, “Where we come from” and science answers: evolution. So we ask, “Where did evolution come from?” and science answers: the big bang. Where did the big bang come from? God is simply the only answer that we have at this point. If that question is answered, there will be a similar question to where that came from and the answer will be God. So the question of God’s existence will always be around and can never be answered." - Sam Benson

  539. Something created by Satan to keep people from reading educational books.

  540. A fine cut of meat forever dangling beyond reach.

  541. Alzheimers.

  542. Comissioner of some of the most boring paintings ever, aside from piss christ of course.

  543. Neither a top, nor a bottom. Stupid sexless eunuch.

  544. God is a fraud.

  545. "I think that the creator of our universe, and everything in it, is actually the cosmic equivlant of some fifth grader. Our universe is his/ her's/ it's science project. He /she/it is still being graded on this project. I hope that he/ she/ it passes." - Anonymous

  546. The great allower of millions of people to die of starvation while his followers go to war constantly in his name.

  547. Someone who wants you to watch your partners genitals get old and wrinkly, until you die.

  548. "Not as good as magnesium... for fetuses." - Anonymous

  549. "God is a concept for those who's intellect has failed to evolve to cope without god." - Turks Cum

  550. "God is the sum total of everything. God is the Ocean and we are but drops of rain. Departed from God in the illusion of individuality. We return to God after a run and see that we never really had departed. Again we are God, as is everything else, manifest and hidden." - Mac Green

  551. Witnessed by way of some jackass talking (the act of watching someone's brain verbally ooze out of their mouth).

  552. "Peanut butter in a rubber toy, you just lick it all out." - Anonymous

  553. didn't you know he resides in the political gaveyard?

  554. "God = The Existence of Which is a Sheer Impossibility" - androver3

  555. "God = A Stupid Creator That Does Not Ask You If You Want To Get Created Before It Creates You Into a Miserable Creature" - androver3

  556. "God is tree" - Old Shoe

  557. God is Robin Hood.

  558. "God is the all-purpose, irrefutable justification, especially for hating and killing and feeling good about it." - Thomas Szasz

  559. "Performs the ultimate "raid on the articulate." See John Dominic Crossan's book, Raid on the Articulate: Comic Eschatology in Jesus and Borges" - Rainhouse

  560. "The Lover of Souls." - Rainhouse

  561. "God is the one, we will all answer to ,in person." - Dona Hoebrian

  562. "definitely NOT what all human religions believe." - csanders2

  563. "God is the creation of man, in order to control others through fear. The name used when demanding money, allegiance, and sacrifce, But the first name cried in the face of fear, pain and death. A nameless faceless, unseen figure that lives in an imaginary world, who rewards those who bow to him, and punishes those who choose to live free." - Nick S

  564. "God is the allegorical name for a powerful and awe-inspiring creator that lies in every human being." - Bruno Lovric from Zagreb, Croatia

  565. "The simplest solution to most thought problems." - Shackleton

  566. "The still small voice of kindness heard somehow behind the massive silence." - Rainhouse

  567. "God does not mean God anymore; tautology torn; nevermore to mean what it means, nor even to seem what it seems; life is sore; God is more." - Rainhouse

  568. Currently doing time in hell for plotting doomsday instead of being productive.

  569. God is the feeling inside while riding a bike past many cars stufk in traffic due to light rain.

  570. God is only in your imagination, god is for people that have the necessity to believe in something, because they just can't believe in themselves, people that need to believe that some external power will help them trough their lives, for poor and stupid people that takes their last check to the church with the hopes they will have a better live, take a look at every single pastor in your city and tell me what car they drive or what house they have and you will know why they all don't stop talking about god, and why they will never stop asking for the god's money, even more they have the best house of the neighborhood and not even pay property taxes for it, why? because they are smart enough to open a non-profit organization and put the house under the organization's name therefore they don't have to pay taxes. People should open their eyes, even if god exist he, she or it, will never ask for money, this is trick that have 1000's years. and if you don't believe what I said, then tell me why a woman need a man to have a child and why virgin Maria doesn't, why Jesus Christ make wine out of water and California's famous wine yards doesn't, why Jesus Christ can make fish and the poor people from Africa don't, why god provide so much money for Bill Gates and to little for people that dies from hungry every single day. You know why? because all this is just the biggest lie any human could pay attention to. - Alberto0171

  571. "Merciful, gracious, vengeful, jealous, giver/taker, lover, healer, forgiver, Creator.

    With a big white beard and rosy cheeks on a…oh wait, that Santa Claus. Sorry." - AA

  572. "The mis-spelling of Good" - Nicholas Brons

  573. "“God” is a man-made concept, to fill the gaps where we cannot apply our normal powers of observation and understanding. It provides some form of continuity when logic leaves the rails.

    Because we are forever denied access to the ultimate answers, our brains are forced into overdrive, and we come up with many different theories. Most or all of these, are completely wrong.

    Part of the human psyche requires us to believe that we have a higher purpose. The God-model fits very nicely with that need. Since there will be no trace left of our civilization in a million years or so, it is hard to imagine that our purpose contributed to any long-term scenario." - Bruce Allen

  574. "Grand Delusion" - Spot

  575. "The name that you can name is not the unchanging name" - Tao Te Ching

  576. "The origin of God is unknown by me at this current moment, the origin of God might be “NOTHING”, but it has been observed that God manifests in EVERYTHING. If a God does not manifest in Everything then that God is not “THE God”." - Edward C

  577. An expression of disgust for the majuscule version of the term. - Devils Dictionary

  578. "God is a concept that humans have developed to be able to articulate, explain and justify their existence. This view is concurrent with polytheistic belief systems." - James Townsend

  579. "We dont know who god is except that he created all of us and sent his son to die for us. its best not to question exactly who or what he is and just know that he is almighty." - Bryce Buchmann

  580. "Ok “AlwaysRight”

    That seems good.

    You’re right, it is best not to question it, but it is best to just ASSUME that this all knowing being governs the entire universe as we know it.

    Yea, sounds terrific." - Nathan Laswell

  581. "God is an enormously powerful, intelligent, personal unembodied mind whose character is the ground of reason, morality and truth." - Colin Madland

  582. "God is the word some humans use to label all the (at this time) unanswerable questions about life, the universe etc. There is a need to give form to this void because facing the reality (that we do not, as yet, know all the answers) strikes these people with terror." - Kath Sayles

  583. "God is the infinite , eternal Mind that is the Reality in which all that is lives and has its being." - Burt Siegel

  584. "OK, I'll try again.
    God is the terrifying and exhilarating face of this universe we live in and that is removed from our hopes, expectations and patterns of thinking.
    God becomes father by his spirit descending onto the human Jesus: Someone appears in this world explaining to us how to live in it.
    God becomes father by this human dying on the cross, giving us an archetype to console us to the fact that we never can attain a perfect life and by the resurrection which tells us that, nevertheless, there is a deep value in walking the way." - Eric Djebe

  585. What do you think his soul looks like? Exactly... so don't sweat it.

  586. "You might as well ask the ant that crawled onto your toe to define you.

    There is no name.
    There is no word.
    The closest we can get to the truth:

    GOD IS." - Arles Adams

  587. "I think I could have been more succinct. How about this:

    God is the moniker coined to cover up the failure of intellect." - Kaths Sayles

  588. "Divine creator, but with MORE [couldn’t tell you how though} than human emotions (it is human to anthropomorphize), good ONLY (subjective) and definitely has a sense of humor." - A A

  589. "God is a placeholder idea for things that we do not yet know." - James Mills

  590. "God is the self needed counter constant consciential residue needed for a contempt nature due a few things such as explanations, reasoning, fear of death, and even god fearing itself." - Derek Pritchard

  591. "Change" - Jason Monborne

  592. "EVERYTHING" - Bryan Cridlebaugh

  593. "God is Evolving: God is the fabric of everything, the energy that makes up everything in our world and beyond. God may be change, as someone else here said, but God is also changeless. The thing that is evolving is our stories about God. And the main trend in God-stories, today, is to take the story away, and be left with the idea with no story. That is what I think a religion-less spirituality often is … I think people are put off by stories and want to work with the stripped-down idea of God. (i.e., Tolle) But it is all about the same truth. (So sad that people can’t see that, and that they see “their” God as separate, or only-real.)" - Kathi Peterson

  594. God - an expression of sexual pleasure. - Devils Dictionary

  595. "god is connected energy felt through the earth, god is nature in it's every form. felt through humanity, god is the music that brings living energy together in it's most honest manifest. " - Poster Nutbag

  596. "our love is all of god's money" - jeff tweedy

  597. "Define God?

    Why is there a label on it? Do cockroaches have a god? Are we any different from a cockroach? Evolution, it looks to me like we are sparsely hairy monkeys. Open your eyes. There is some dirt in a crack high up an my balcony in my apartment in a suburb of Shanghai. Its the middle of winter and cold and green things are growing in the dirt. Open your eyes. There is truth, arrangement, function, growth, entropy in everything we see, and all that we dont see, allot more than that which is seen. Do we seek to name something to help us? To give us faith because we have no faith in ourselves? To cleanse our sins because we have no self control. To give us an easy way out. Open your eyes. - Kip Oxman

  598. "I'm not going to go there - It's a question I'm not going to answer because I fear God" - Ray Comfort

  599. God - One who works in really mysterious ways!

  600. Shame on you.

  601. A big bet to make.

  602. A big deal.

  603. Something scarier than the darkest alley in the worst part of the world. Even scarier than a room with every car bomb in the middle east, container of napalm and agent orange in Vietnam, every gun toting redneck in the USA, and every dictator that ever lived, especially when considering he loves you.

  604. so many versions of this lie, it's hard to know which one to tell anymore!

  605. DO NOT speak out in church or else!

  606. He'll answer your questions later.

  607. Pornography.

  608. System by which you make sense of the world, haha.

  609. The God that you believe in is not God, and neither is the God that you do not believe in. - philosopher errant

  610. God is self projection. - The Avangelism Project

  611. "God is an addiction. God is a moniker, which represents our innate inevitability for trying, in vain, to explain the ineffable. God symbolizes optimism and is the objectification of hope for the perpetuation of identity and ego. God is a comfort and serves as such by filling a metaphysical void that, when dwelled upon for too long, is quite frightening. God is an obstacle, yet God is necessary. The idea of God has served its purpose, but God's purpose remains unknown. God is the creator of man, who in returning God's favor, created God. God is chance place your bets." - Randall Mesner

  612. Supernatural order.

  613. Childish need to have a daddy figure i.e. a delusion.

  614. "God is like a politician. His followers are the cabinet ministers who manipulate the very thoughts of the general public with reckless abandon." - Daisy Walton

  615. Social disorder that existed in caveman times before control over others was even a thought.

  616. System of recklessly cruel punishments enforced with complete disregard of individual rights through prejudice, often enforced by warfare.

  617. Antonym to progress.

  618. "I personally define God as an energy or force that exists everywhere and within everything. (Imagine a combination of Tao and Chi) All life is interconnected by this energy. The energy cannot be extinguished. Within us it continues after death, and finds expression in future life. The energy promotes well-being and growth. Acting in opposition to this natural energy causes harm to ourselves or others. I will be encamped with the Buddhists until a clearer path presents itself.

    Approximately 70% of the population is monotheistic. I secretly believe that the Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jews and Baha'is all worship the same God. Unfortunately they fail to recognize that their God is one and the same. Differences in geography, language, culture and time transformed one God into various religions. The willingness to shed blood, as a means to prove which is the "real" God (when everyone is representing the same God) is perhaps the ultimate human failing. If there is a God sitting up in the sky looking down on us he must believe that we are inherently terrible communicators." - Brad Gavigan

  619. Boundary between science and magic, just take some enthenogens and maybe you'll get there.

  620. Illegitamate state of consciousness

  621. A demonstration that some people never really grow up, or at least refuse to mature intillectually.

  622. An easy way out of something that actually requires thought.

  623. "I see god as the unknowable; those things that exist beyond the human bubble, the limits to which our minds, collective or not, can comprehend. Because of this limitation, we explain the universe on our own terms, and therefore the answers are always relative and not absolute. God would be the absolute truth and the wisdom of everything unknowable. A boring thing for a human to be, for sure, but he'd be one hell of a story-teller!" - Eric Thompson

  624. "Not containable." - Rainhouse

  625. One of the only things untestable by science, how convenient.

  626. The one and only reason for living and true joy self evident in every aspect from the heavens to the dirt we stand on and came from "There Is One Name Given Unto Man By which We May Come To The Father = JESUS" - Captain167

  627. God - His speciality is his expertise.

  628. "Once upon a time Everyone believed that the world was flat. All the believing in the world didn't make it so did it? The same with your foolish god." - The PRAYNOGRAPHER

  629. "Oh my god i'm in heaven" means that your sausage is sliding in the bun at that moment." god mailinator

  630. "The definition of god is "just something to laugh at" when there are gang killings in our city, homeless everywhere picking at the scraps of the rich, profit driven politics, a glass screen shallow culture of materialism, endless wars and revenge and fear tactics. There are enough resources for everyone on this world. There is no excuse for our condition, and god is irrelevant, as only humans and animals and plants live on earth." - Dan Huber

  631. "2086 Divine Mind reinstalled in the hueman prizm!" casttklearr

  632. "God is inventing DUAL_MIND." casttklearr

  633. "God is an Idea within the Physical Prizm." casttklearr

  634. "My GOD is my reason to persecute you!" casttklearr

  635. Faith healing. - a bakers dozen

  636. Misogyny and chauvinism. - a bakers dozen

  637. "The Christian’s Self-Projection. (SPAG)" - a bakers dozen

  638. "Real. (Yes, real.)" - a bakers dozen

  639. "The milquetoast’s courage." - a bakers dozen

  640. "The bigot’s bastion." - a bakers dozen

  641. "The manipulator’s tool." - a bakers dozen

  642. "A club for the proud." - a bakers dozen

  643. "A crutch for the puny." - a bakers dozen

  644. "An excuse for certainty where none exists." - a bakers dozen

  645. "A caulking for the gaps left by coping mechanisms." - a bakers dozen

  646. "Even those whoe believe in the existence of God do not use "God" as a proper name for an object with whom any human being on earth can be directly acquainted, throught introduction or pointing" -from How to Think About God, A Guide for the 20th Century Pagan, by Mortimer J. Adler

  647. "A rationalization for failure and disappointment." - a bakers dozen

  648. "The elixir for regret." - a bakers dozen

  649. "The panacea for reality." - a bakers dozen

  650. "The American Cultic Culture’s unchallenged assumption." - a bakers dozen

  651. "A cosmic blanc mange." - Laurel

  652. "The mystery to explain all mysteries." - derrida

  653. "A hypersensitive divisive detected agent." - derrida

  654. "The phantom of the space opera." - derrida

  655. "I know what you want and need, but you have to pray." - Andre

  656. "The greatest mind game player of all-time." - Andre

  657. "Seek and you shall find, or die trying." - Andre

  658. "My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. I just had to tell you that, even though I created your ways and thoughts." - Adndre

  659. "I AM whatever you conceive of me." - Andre

  660. "Anything good, I'll take credit. Anything evil, it's because of free will." - Andre

  661. A picture of the heart of it's creator: And man said, let us make a deity in our own image. And they called the deity, "God". And man looked and saw God was petty, jealous, murderous, genocidal, oppressive of women and approving of slavery, and man said, "It is good." - db

  662. "The Lie repeated oft enough." - db

  663. "The poster child of human ignorance. (with apologies to Kel)" - db

  664. "Abusive and murderous counterpart of the goddess." - db

  665. "Amanita Muscaria" - db

  666. "The invisible chain of political control. See also: Totalitarianism in robes." - db

 

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CAUTION: PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING (Any opinions expressed on this website, or in any way expressed by humans anywhere, are not necessarily those of God.)

 

The mere act of writing such a webpage proves the point that God can be manipulated for any purpose.

 


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Courtesy of: Dan (Thanks to my mother, Laura Kipnis, Ambrose Bierce and God Defined for inspiration.)
& Kevin (Special thanks to JP, and anyone else who has helped me think outside the box)